Sunday, February 20, 2005

It's not about you

So I had a realization this morning. Not a realization I guess, but a reminder. I'm trudging up the stairs from the basement, having just come from teaching confirmation. My throat is sore from whatever my wife and half the congregation has, I was cursing having to come in Saturday morning to finish my sermon, what the heck difference is my sermon going to make....

For the record, this isn't burnout. It's way too early for burnout. It was more a crappy snowy tired I-feel-a-cold-coming-on morning where I just kept asking myself, 'Why aren't I more excited about what I'm doing this morning?' In part, there are just some mornings like that. We all have them, some more regularly than others.

Well anyway, I zip up my robe and just before I make my way out of the office for worship, I stop myself and just say, 'This isn't about me.' I can't explain it, but that made going through the service much much easier.

There are some who abuse that phrase. 'It's not about you' can lead to radical self-denial that borders on some weird masochistic superpiety. It definitely wasn't that this morning. Instead, it was the kind of 'it's not about you' through which I simply was reminded who I am and whose I am. If it's not about me then let the Spirit blow where it will and may I from time to time be an instrument of what God is trying to say.