bye kids. tired of church and its abuse of people's lives. tired of God and what he allows his commissioned followers to do in his beloved son's name. tired of bad dreams and newsletter scraps from churches gone by. tired of compliance-based "christians" selling real estate in heaven to which they don't have the deed. tired of finding myself fighting back tears during worship, not
because of what Christ did for me, but because of whatever flashback hits me triggered by a hymn, a verse, or the way someone looks at me. tired of being a failure in the eyes of so many. tired of the quiet dark speculating time during the night when i consider whether it was a mistake to leave youth ministry. tired of preaching to the choir and stroking ego's as a means to an end that i'm not that sure of myself. tired of hailing a new class of "emerging" celebrities. tired of pretending things are ok. tired of apologizing in my sleep to hundreds of former youth across the country for being part of the machine that is truly full of shit.
and tired of the church as it stands.
-- when God wants me back he can damned well ask.
i do believe this is my last post. bye. -- DYP
Obviously, churches were not especially kind to him during his time of ministry. If you read back through some past entries you quickly become aware of that. I advise against too much psychoanalisis, too many 'helpful' suggestions that he's 'just bitter,' 'has up and quit just like that,' 'has sinned by turning his back on God,' that 'those weren't real Christians he was working with,' or that he 'has other issues, but not with the church.' None of that does any good, and most of them are worthy for the sewer and not much else.
Churches are capable of sin (laughably understated), and sometimes they do it in a big way...sometimes against those called to minister to them.
We have a lot to repent for.
Related posts: Special Attention, My Journey (So Far) - Part 1, My Journey (So Far) - Part 3