Occasionally...

Occasionally a thought passes through my head. I'd say this thought visits me 2-3 times a month on average, usually after I've written something on here that I'm especially proud of. I think to myself, 'I should point my church to this.'

Some pastors blog with their congregations in mind. Others blog for their churches in particular. I've only ever told one church member that I do this, but have never given an address. It's not for fear that people will read this and conspire to fire me. Honestly, up to this point it's been more of a boundary thing.

The internet has long been a hobby of mine. This place was my first attempt at focusing all my efforts on one site instead of 12 different places. This blog has been for me, a place to share my thoughts. I've thought of it as MINE. A good chunk of my week is for THEM, and this is for ME.

This is all petty selfishness, of course. I've long wanted to keep these worlds separate just because I don't want to share every aspect of my life with others. Why I tend to think that this blog is an unsharable piece is something that I really haven't rationalized. I have a good dozen or so regulars who drop by, mostly just to read. I don't get hot and bothered by their presence.

I really wouldn't get hot and bothered by the congregation's presence either. Entries on here might lead to good discussions. They'd see thoughts that I might not always get a chance to share in person. It'd be another way to connect in meaningful ways.

I dunno. I'll keep thinking. What I really don't want this to become is a church function. I don't want to do it because people want to hear what Pastor Jeff has to say. I don't want it to become regulated, institutionalized, part of my ministerial week. Blogging hours won't be counted as hours spent in ministry, but I don't want it to feel like the opposite. This is a hobby, a way to blow off steam, a way to channel creative energy, not a branch of my pastoral duty. There. That's why I've balked at sharing this address. Chalk that up to selfishness, self-care, something else entirely.

Meanwhile, I'll keep thinking about it.

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