Screw It, I'm a @#$% Michigan Fan

Scene One: a guy in his car, driving up to a cousin's graduation party. He passes the sign that reads, "Welcome to Michigan."

Guy: (as in relief) Aaaaaaaaah....

Scene Two: same guy in the same car, driving back. He passes the sign that reads, "Welcome to Ohio."

Guy: Aaaaaaaaw....

You know, I've considered myself a resident of Ohio for 20 freaking years.

I'm a Red Sox fan who lives in the Bronx.

A Browns fan who lives in Pittsburgh.

A [soccer team] fan who lives in [rival soccer team's hometown].

I've endured it for 20 years, sometimes vindicated, sometimes while covering my head.

And lately I've been the long-suffering one. I'm not a so-called Wal-Mart Wolverine Fan who struts around Michigan in a sweatshirt when the team is doing well. I'm in freaking Ohio, where once they find out who you like they don't let up whether you're wearing your stuff or not.

So screw it, I'll wear it anyway.

I'll wear it during Lloyd's swansong, during the national ridicule off an App. State loss, during a possible fourth consecutive Buckeye loss if the opener was any indication, during yet another season of high hopes and then crushing disappointment. And if Carr squeaks it out, all the better. Except then, he might be invited back. Ew.

Dammit, they should make maize and blue kamikazee helmets.

Go Freaking Blue.

If we're going down we're going down swinging.

Hint: Oregon does the same stuff that got you beat last week, except they're D-1. Hopefully you looked into that. Also, shout out to my brother who will be at that game, even though he didn't invite me.

7 comments:

the reverend mother said...

You do your Momma proud. And...imagine, he didn't invite you to go today. He took his fiancee. Go figure. GO BLUE!

Anonymous said...

Aaaaah, you are experiencing the cost and joy of discipleship to the Block M. Good lectionary lesson from Luke for you tomorrow ... what/who you will forsake, what crosses you will carry, what will you give up in order to be a true disciple?

The sad thing is that I wrote this, then paused and flipped to ABC (not knowing the Michigan-Oregon game was on) and observed the late 2nd quarter score. The statue of liberty TD was the first play I saw. Even this professed Buckeye doesn't wish this on you.

Remember -- I'm also a Browns' fan. I can feel your pain.

bdb

Coffeepastor said...

Well, that was absolutely terrible.

erin said...

Um, yeah. So sorry Jeffie. I truly am, this time. No fan deserves that kind of torture and humiliation. Sigh.

And it certainly won't make the big game all that fun. Unless things turn around in a big way.

And cheer up: Notre Dame is totally lousy and you guys will probably win!

Tell wifey I said hi!! :)

~Erin

Anonymous said...

A few days earlier, I said:

Remember -- I'm also a Browns' fan. I can feel your pain.

As of Tuesday evening, Meecheegan is looking good compared to what is going on in Berea.

For the maize and blue, there is hope. I'm not so sure when it comes to the orange and brown.

bdb

A Reader said...

As a Buckeye Fan trapped in Michigan . . . I feel your pain! Well, okay, YOUR pain is greater than mine because you are 0-3, still we are kindreds of sorts.

Coffeepastor said...

0-3? C'mon, man, that's premature. And it's quite possible that the Irish are even worse, so I'm thinking 1-2 after Saturday.