Monday, October 22, 2007


Once again, Brant at Kamp Krusty destroys American attitudes toward sports via satire. This seemed appropriate this morning for those of us moping around NE Ohio after the Indians' defeat last night. Brant is an Illinois alumnus, and this was written over a week ago, as it surely does not apply to the Illini's game this past Saturday. And with a comment like that, I only proved his point. Enjoy.

Mirth! Merriment!

An assembly of game players, drawn from high schools from around the United States, now performing with matching "Illinois"-themed uniforms, has outscored a highly-regarded opponent in an American-style Football Game!

Should I respond? Oh yes. I will respond, and I will respond with unfettered glee.

1) I'm going to purchase, then wear, university-themed, licensed sportswear!

2) I'm going to purchase and display a university-themed "car flag"!

3) I'm going to continue to link my own self-worth with this particular group of games-men, none of whom I actually know, and will refer to them as "we"!

4) I'm going to talk about what "we" did with sporty-type friends!

I hope we keep winning! Then, our coach, whom I don't know, can get a raise, and maybe our athletic director, whom I don't know, too! I'll be very proud if they can make more in yearly income than their equivalents at far-flung universities in Michigan or Florida!

I feel very good about ourselves about now! Imagine a Rose Bowl invitation! We'll have a great time! I mean, I can't be there, but we can be there, and just to know that other people affiliated with the University I was affiliated with are paying to travel to view a competition like that -- woo!

The university's athletic department would financially profit by selling image-rights for the event! I'll be able to view the images through my home television set, and, in exchange, I'll happily also view messages from corporations who want all of my money! I may discover new needs, and patronize those corporations!

Go us!