Tuesday, December 04, 2007

"Stuff I Hate About the Holidays" Meme

The least favorite/most annoying...

1) dessert/cookie/family food - plum pudding. The few times I have encountered it, I recall that the taste, look, and consistency all strongly resemble poo.

2) beverage (seasonal beer, eggnog w/ way too much egg and not enough nog, etc...) - I guess I'm not that experienced in specifically "Christmas beverages," because I can't think of any besides eggnog. So I'll just say that concoction where you mix sherbert, 7-Up and fruit punch. Why not just, you know, have fruit punch? Why turn it into this weird bubbly frothy unnecessary thing? You couldn't, you know, just give people a choice between fruit punch and 7-Up and then have sherbert for dessert? You had to mix them all together? You wanted that much of a taste sensation, or maybe you were that indecisive? Or, like, you could get fruit punch your first time through the line, and then when it's time for a refill, then you get 7-Up? You don't think that's, like, excessive at all? Maybe a little too much? Not concerned about, like, giving someone a sugar coma or anything? You're pretty selfish, man. Stop the madness. Just pick one.

3) tradition (church, family, other) - Is it too early to rag on New Year's? If not, the whole concept of next year being that much different than the past year is stupid. Okay, get together with some friends, but don't fool yourselves. Also, Coffeewife and I have only spent maybe three of them together ever. Otherwise, she works or gets home after midnight or some other thing that helps contribute to me having nothing but negative opinions about this overrated holiday.

4) decoration - when people just wrap a bunch of lights around the trunk of a tree. I get that maybe you weren't tall enough to actually put them in the branches, but maybe that should just deter you from trying at all. String them along your porch railing or something instead.

5) gift (received or given) - One time I got two copies of the same CD, so I turned around and gave one of them to my brother as a birthday present. He knew right away. It was a little lame. But you liked it, DIDN'T YOU?

BONUS: SONG/CD that makes you want to tell the elves where to stick it. - "Feliz Navidad." The nasally voice, the goofy musical style, the stupid novelty of playing it...it must be stopped. In conclusion, I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns. Thank you.