Monday, November 13, 2017

Find Your People

I sometimes have trouble fitting in to groups. It's not that I'm incapable, but certain situations have caused me to wonder whether I'll be able to gel with certain sets of people.

You know this feeling. I'm not alone or unique in this.

Sometimes it's because we can't really talk about common interests: we don't like the same music, we're on opposite sides of a sports rivalry, we haven't seen the same movies or read the same books, we're too far apart spiritually or politically to understand each other.

Sometimes it's the social dynamics at play. I make my living regularly interacting with a group of people, but there are certain professional expectations to uphold and friendship beyond friendliness can be tricky. When I move on to another church or when a member decides to seek out a different faith community, things can get even more awkward.

It can be difficult to find your people.

What does that mean? Who are your people? They're the ones that get your personality quirks because they may share a few. They may understand your professional life because they do something similar enough that you can commiserate around common joys and frustrations. They might love the movies or teams that you do. They may not feel like they fit in in similar ways, but they somehow fit with you.

Sometimes we're told internally or externally that whatever group we're a part of, we should just power through, endure, make it work even if it clearly isn't going to. What are the alternatives? Where could you possibly find the folks that really, actually, truly get you, understand you, appreciate you? Where are the people with whom you can be your most genuine self, without judgment, reservation, or professional consequence?

There's no one answer to that. Sometimes it takes some hunting, sometimes it happens by accident. Sometimes it starts online, sometimes in real life.

But your people are out there. They're looking for you just as much as you're looking for them. And once you find each other, it can make all the difference for both of you.

Life is too short to keep trying to wedge your square peg self into the circular-shaped crowd around you.

Find affirmation. Find love. Find support. Find real living.

Find your people.

(Image via Pexels)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

After six years in a parish where I did not fit, I made the difficult decision to leave, which meant leaving the denomination that I loved. A year later I am actively involved in a new parish family and am happier than I have been in a long time. I thought something was wrong with me, but now I know that's not true.