I'm still dealing with a wide variety of feelings and fallout from the past 16 months.
I think I've reached a kind of saturation point. I'm in a season where some extras that used to bring me vitality and joy aren't hitting the same. It's not really a commentary on those things so much as how tired I am.
Exhibit A: the way I used to write on this blog for most of its existence vs. the way I've been doing it for the past few months. I still love writing, but the drive to put new things into the world on this medium has been low. To me it's a sign of energy level, of recent events catching up to me.
This has been exacerbated by just completing my first UCC General Synod as part of national staff. I'm taking some well-needed time off this week to recharge from that.
Sometimes the anxious work that we feel we need to keep up with reveals what we're trapped in. I think that I--like most people who have been taking this pandemic seriously--have been trapped in the anxious work of staying safe and adjusting life routines for a very long time. And now that the door has been cracking open a little bit at a time, all the expended emotional and spiritual energy we needed to do that work is catching up with us.
There's no solution to be presented here, other than the usual stuff about self-care. Stay hydrated, get rest, stay connected with people, and so on. Naming what we're going through will help us discern how to get out.